Post by Monica Padilla on Nov 27, 2010 1:28:23 GMT -5
Narrator: Our scene beginneth at the scene of a merger, whereupon two warring factions hath been joined in swain. The House of Kansai begetteth much in the way of fair maidens, numberèd of four, not withcounting the late Lord Herschel, who was a homosexual. The House of Neishi, led by the drunken sot Lord Fair-of-play, consisteth of three brothers, Master Tyrone being brotherliest among them owing to his racial affiliations. The brothers are accompanied by the stately overseer Miss Bright, and the fair ingénue Monica. Betrothed to neither side is the paraiah, Eliza. Though the ladies of Kansai hath Eliza’s favour courted, Neishi hath one final trick up their ruffled lace sleeves...
Fair-of-play: ‘tis a grand day, fellows!
Marcus: Grand?
Tyrone: Pray tell?
Fair-of-play: Grand, as perchance we may espy the fall of the wicked House of Kansai.
Lady Jane: Thou canst be serious! Eliza hath plighted her troth to them, and we are nought but outrageously bonèd!
Fair-of-play: Away! I say that we have hope.
Marcus: Come, Lord Fair-of-play, what ails you, to have such delusions? Art thou having a midsummer night’s dream?
Fair-of-play: Nay!
Tyrone: Besides that, my lord, ‘tis Autumn.
Marcus: ‘Struth! Mayhaps it is a midautumn night’s dream?
Fair-of-play: It is no matter of a dream! My mind is fair steady, and my girdle of optimism fast’n’d well about my midriff by the gleaming buckles of truest hope!
Lady Jane: Then pray tell, Lord Fair-of-play, by which means thou see-est silver linings upon the gloomy clouds which spell to my eyes our certain doom?
Fairplay: I say, it is because Miss Monica hath dispatched to seek audience with Lady Eliza, and bid her aid us in our plight. She is sure of her speech and possesseth a tongue like unto the cherubim. I daresay she shall not fail us.
Marcus: Let us hope.
Eliza: What soft? What trampling sounds through yonder rosebush breaks? It is the East, and Monica is sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon! Hark, she speaks!
Monica: Er... Eliza? Eliza? Wherefore art thou, Eliza?
Eliza: A jest! Surely thou seest me?
Monica: Alack! The nightdark hath rendered me as Helen Keller!
Eliza: O cruel fate! That such beauteous eyes as thine be blinded!
Monica: Indeed. But, I come not seeking thy pity, but thy aid!
Eliza: Aid? For blindness? Surely I should be useless! I counsel thee to seek out Marcus, who is a physician.
Monica: No! Fool! Aid regarding the vote! The house of Neishi wills to follow thee in pursuit of a target of thine own selection, shouldst thou only accept the hand they offer.
Eliza: Zounds! I am undone!
Monica: And I as well, for this bodice was surely not designed to go creeping about in shrubbery with.
Eliza: Another jest! Thou art indeed a card! But I must with conviction state that I am divided regarding the vote. What should you recommend, fair Monica?
Monica: O Eliza, Eliza! Wherefore art thou strategically, Eliza?
Deny thy false allies and refuse thy tribe!
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my ally,
And I’ll forever be a Neishi.
Eliza: To flip, or not to flip? That is the question!
Monica: Verily. I know this, on account of having just asked it. ...Yet I once more entreat thee, take my hand, lest my beauty be removed from thy sight to the jury!
Eliza: O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! Thy plight grieves me, and the thought of losing thy beauteous avatar moreso. But I am of Kansai! Art thou my enemy?
Monica: It is thy tribe which is my enemy!
Thou art thyself, not a Kansai!
What’s Kansai? O, be some other tribe!
What’s in a tribe? That which we call Tara
By another other name wouldst smell as... er... pungent.
So too Eliza, were she not Kansai call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which she owns
Without that title. Eliza, doff thy tribe,
And for thy tribe, which is not part of thee,
Take all myself to the final three.
Eliza: I take thee at thy word. Call me but ally, and I will nevermore be Kansai.
Monica: O joy! Rapture! I pledge fain to thee that evermore we shall closest allies be.
Eliza: Yet! How shall the vote proceed? I dare say I wouldst see Jaime off the first, owing to her trespasses against my person.
Monica: Alas! Poor Jaime, I knew her well! Yet I shall pass these tidings to Neishi, and Kansai shall fall by the morrow. Good night!
Eliza: Good night?
Monica: Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I shall say goodnight, ‘til it be morrow.
-~= Act II, Scene I =~-
[enter FAIR-OF-PLAY, MARCUS, JANE, and TYRONE]
[enter FAIR-OF-PLAY, MARCUS, JANE, and TYRONE]
Fair-of-play: ‘tis a grand day, fellows!
Marcus: Grand?
Tyrone: Pray tell?
Fair-of-play: Grand, as perchance we may espy the fall of the wicked House of Kansai.
Lady Jane: Thou canst be serious! Eliza hath plighted her troth to them, and we are nought but outrageously bonèd!
Fair-of-play: Away! I say that we have hope.
Marcus: Come, Lord Fair-of-play, what ails you, to have such delusions? Art thou having a midsummer night’s dream?
Fair-of-play: Nay!
Tyrone: Besides that, my lord, ‘tis Autumn.
Marcus: ‘Struth! Mayhaps it is a midautumn night’s dream?
Fair-of-play: It is no matter of a dream! My mind is fair steady, and my girdle of optimism fast’n’d well about my midriff by the gleaming buckles of truest hope!
Lady Jane: Then pray tell, Lord Fair-of-play, by which means thou see-est silver linings upon the gloomy clouds which spell to my eyes our certain doom?
Fairplay: I say, it is because Miss Monica hath dispatched to seek audience with Lady Eliza, and bid her aid us in our plight. She is sure of her speech and possesseth a tongue like unto the cherubim. I daresay she shall not fail us.
Marcus: Let us hope.
[exit FAIR-OF-PLAY, MARCUS, TYRONE, and JANE].
-~= Act II, Scene II =~-
[Kansai castle. Night. The lady ELIZA standeth atop a balcony, braiding orchids into her raven hair. Enter MONICA, sneakething in through the shrubbery.]
-~= Act II, Scene II =~-
[Kansai castle. Night. The lady ELIZA standeth atop a balcony, braiding orchids into her raven hair. Enter MONICA, sneakething in through the shrubbery.]
Eliza: What soft? What trampling sounds through yonder rosebush breaks? It is the East, and Monica is sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon! Hark, she speaks!
Monica: Er... Eliza? Eliza? Wherefore art thou, Eliza?
Eliza: A jest! Surely thou seest me?
Monica: Alack! The nightdark hath rendered me as Helen Keller!
Eliza: O cruel fate! That such beauteous eyes as thine be blinded!
Monica: Indeed. But, I come not seeking thy pity, but thy aid!
Eliza: Aid? For blindness? Surely I should be useless! I counsel thee to seek out Marcus, who is a physician.
Monica: No! Fool! Aid regarding the vote! The house of Neishi wills to follow thee in pursuit of a target of thine own selection, shouldst thou only accept the hand they offer.
Eliza: Zounds! I am undone!
Monica: And I as well, for this bodice was surely not designed to go creeping about in shrubbery with.
Eliza: Another jest! Thou art indeed a card! But I must with conviction state that I am divided regarding the vote. What should you recommend, fair Monica?
Monica: O Eliza, Eliza! Wherefore art thou strategically, Eliza?
Deny thy false allies and refuse thy tribe!
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my ally,
And I’ll forever be a Neishi.
Eliza: To flip, or not to flip? That is the question!
Monica: Verily. I know this, on account of having just asked it. ...Yet I once more entreat thee, take my hand, lest my beauty be removed from thy sight to the jury!
Eliza: O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I! Thy plight grieves me, and the thought of losing thy beauteous avatar moreso. But I am of Kansai! Art thou my enemy?
Monica: It is thy tribe which is my enemy!
Thou art thyself, not a Kansai!
What’s Kansai? O, be some other tribe!
What’s in a tribe? That which we call Tara
By another other name wouldst smell as... er... pungent.
So too Eliza, were she not Kansai call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which she owns
Without that title. Eliza, doff thy tribe,
And for thy tribe, which is not part of thee,
Take all myself to the final three.
Eliza: I take thee at thy word. Call me but ally, and I will nevermore be Kansai.
Monica: O joy! Rapture! I pledge fain to thee that evermore we shall closest allies be.
Eliza: Yet! How shall the vote proceed? I dare say I wouldst see Jaime off the first, owing to her trespasses against my person.
Monica: Alas! Poor Jaime, I knew her well! Yet I shall pass these tidings to Neishi, and Kansai shall fall by the morrow. Good night!
Eliza: Good night?
Monica: Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I shall say goodnight, ‘til it be morrow.
[exit MONICA]
[exit ELIZA, with a winsome sigh]
[shortly thereafter, exit JAIME, amidst much weeping and tragic chaos]
[exit ELIZA, with a winsome sigh]
[shortly thereafter, exit JAIME, amidst much weeping and tragic chaos]
