Post by Eliza Orlins on Oct 22, 2010 17:04:26 GMT -5
hmmmmmmm...
it's a complicated decision. i had reached a point where i'd decided i would if in fact no one else showed any interest. because it looked like no one else would show nay interest.
then i found out that, just like he'd told me, rob c had told alexis and alexis wants him to try hard to come back. with the questionable morality of straigh tout telling multiple people (i've given winks and stuff like that so i'm not perfect myself)... leads me to think that there's a good chance rob will have help... if not just from alexis than atleast from someone. people here have groups of friends and ummm... well... long story short, it muddles up the fuck out of things.
so then i got thinking... fuck it, i'll try hard and beat anyone who actually does try. i'll just make it happen. even if everyone knows abt the twist and is setting up, fuck em all, i've got it... sorta mind set...
and then i started losing amusement in the... being made fun of and everything... all of a sudden i am not getting the enjoyment out of being hated that i used to. just... ALL of a sudden.
so i went back to... ummmmm... i'll try if it looks easy.
i mean, i realize even if i get back in it'll be for like a moment. and i'll be back out on my ass again
i realize that...
so the question is... am i okay with that?
actually the question is... with people now going to work at it, is it worth me working at it too? just for like 1 or 2 rounds of te game? i most likely wouldn't even make jury still
who knows...
who knows...
it's a complicated decision. i had reached a point where i'd decided i would if in fact no one else showed any interest. because it looked like no one else would show nay interest.
then i found out that, just like he'd told me, rob c had told alexis and alexis wants him to try hard to come back. with the questionable morality of straigh tout telling multiple people (i've given winks and stuff like that so i'm not perfect myself)... leads me to think that there's a good chance rob will have help... if not just from alexis than atleast from someone. people here have groups of friends and ummm... well... long story short, it muddles up the fuck out of things.
so then i got thinking... fuck it, i'll try hard and beat anyone who actually does try. i'll just make it happen. even if everyone knows abt the twist and is setting up, fuck em all, i've got it... sorta mind set...
and then i started losing amusement in the... being made fun of and everything... all of a sudden i am not getting the enjoyment out of being hated that i used to. just... ALL of a sudden.
so i went back to... ummmmm... i'll try if it looks easy.
i mean, i realize even if i get back in it'll be for like a moment. and i'll be back out on my ass again
i realize that...
so the question is... am i okay with that?
actually the question is... with people now going to work at it, is it worth me working at it too? just for like 1 or 2 rounds of te game? i most likely wouldn't even make jury still
who knows...
who knows...
