Confessionals

[Host Sarah]

Good luck to ya =]

[Monica Padilla]

Good grief, Jane is being foolish.

Fairplay wants us to throw this IC, because that would give us a clear numbers advantage over Kansai.

I fully agree with him, as sad as that is. Fairplay gets a bad rap for being a total idiot, and to a degree I understand where all of that hatred is coming from. But I also recognize that it's totally strategic on his part, and if he gets to the end he's gonna shine like a diamond going against the jury. He thinks everybody's so busy hating him that they don't know how good he is, and I genuinely think he has everybody else fooled. Good on him.

Now, it's pretty obvious to me that Alexis, Christy, Amanda, and Jaime are tight. They just are. You can tell. Jaime, who talked a lot to me about how she wanted to work with me, hasn't even bothered to send me a "Yay! We're tribemates!" PM, which either speaks to a lack of social skills, or, as I previously suspected, a total lack of interest in being my ally. I will feel guilty voting her off, but not for too long.

And, yes, communication is a two-way street, but why do I, as a power player, need to communicate with someone who will probably not help me? It doesn't behoove me at all to strike up a conversation with an ally who won't have my back and who doesn't appear interested in talking to me.

Now, Jane's worry is that Fairplay will be unbeatable in challenges. The temptation to respond to her PM with "Here's a link to the Greenland season. Notice how I won like six Immunity Challenges in a row?" was incredibly strong, but somehow saying "Look, I know you think Fairplay's a threat. But don't worry, I'm an even bigger one!" seemed like kind of a stupid idea to me.

I couldn't say it to Jane, but I'll state it for the record: that boy can't beat me at anything. I was a way better challenge player than him on Neishi, and I'll be better than him come the merge. It sucks that I can't simply make Jane believe me, but I'm going to do my darnedest. I know that old Kansai are tight. I know that they're threats. In what universe does it make sense to say, "One solitary person is a bigger threat to me than four people who were great at challenges?"

Like... I love Jane. Love her to death. But she's being so incredibly stupid on this one. She wants to gamble with all of our fates, just because she wants Fairplay gone. Well, ya know what, Jane? I'm not here to soothe your damn ego. I'm sure you want Fairplay gone so that when you get to the final two you can claim to the jury that you're the one who got rid of him. Well, since I aim to be in that final two, don't think for a second I'm going to let you sink the whole damn Neishi tribe just so you can be Miss Special, alright?

That was probably unnecessary anger. But, it's what's goin' down. If I have to pull a coup and get John and Tyrone to listen to me instead of Jane, that's what I have to do. I came to this game to win, and you don't win by being someone's underling. You win by being the best.

And by winning the damn final three IC. Otherwise you just get robbed.

[Host Sarah]

lol start working on your Final IC skills

[Monica Padilla]

Damn straight. If you guys had just given me the extension I asked for, I would have blown that IC away. It's all your fault! *shakes fist*

[Monica Padilla]

Round Seven.

Well, that was one hell of a close thing.

I actually am reasonably certain that I was gonna get voted off there. I was on AIM and noticed that Jane was cruising the board, but didn't appear to be signed on. So, I did what any player worth their salt would do: I logged on to my alternate AIM account, and, viola! There was Jane, who'd obviously blocked me in an attempt to forestall her guilty conscience.

For the next hour and a half, I guilt-tripped the old broad so hard she oughta get Frequent Flyer Miles. What essentially came out of it was that she and Tyrone voted for me because they think I'm trying to run the show. Then she gave me some lame-arse excuse about how all she wanted was to clear out all the dirt between us, and this was the only way she could think of to do it.

Umm... what? Let me get this straight, Jane. It never occurred to you that... talking... might help?

As sad as I sounds, I actually miss Boo. He may have been paranoid and neurotic enough to make me cuss him out multiple times, but at least he was loyal, and he didn't try to vote me off for no reason. And he actually... talked to me about crap instead of stabbing me in the back.

I was surprised that that worked, actually. In my experience, the more you fight to stay, the more likely you'll get kicked off, because if you're fighting to stay you become a threat. It wasn't until I actually gave up and told Jane I didn't care that she was voting me off and digging her own grave that she actually turned around and kept me.

So apparently the best way to save myself is to tell people to vote me off. Go figure.

Anyway, I wound up swearing undying loyalty to her, but I think we both know that that's total BS. After all, if she's willing to put me in a tie just to make her point, what the hell's gonna happen when she realizes that maybe I can kick her ass in front of a jury?

I trust everybody, until they give me a reason to mistrust them. Jaime and Christy kept their word to me. Jane and Tyrone did not. In fact, Tyrone apparently still wanted to vote me off, and Jane and Jaime pretty much had to force him to vote for John.

Whatever. Tyrone's an inactive lame tard who's been surgically joined to Jane's hip since the round he nearly got himself voted off for inactivity. And what a freakin' hypocrite. He takes credit for being the only one to win his section, in a challenge we all agreed to throw. Let me tell you something, No-Stones Tyrone: If our objective was to fail, and you won? That makes you the only one who was too stupid to lose. It takes a special brand of retardation to lose at losing, buddy. So, 'grats on that.

He doesn't deserve to be here any more, and now that I don't have any reason to keep him around, he's not gonna be. I fully intend to milk my connection to Jaime, and as long as I outlast Jane and Tyrone, I'm gonna be happy. Those two piss me the hell off.

What might have to happen is that I go to Charlie, who I've always been in good with, and get him to band up with me/Marcus/Brad/Jon, and then hopefully we can swing a sixth person and get majority. Jane's still gonna go after Fairplay, and she can knock herself the hell out. Worst comes to worst, I'm gonna float the rumor that Fairplay has a HII, and try to get Jane to switch votes around. Ideally, they'd split like 4/3/5, and we'd boot her or Tyrone.

We'll see what happens. But there's gonna be a serious firestorm comin' down all over this game. After all, I said it in round one:

There's nobody meana
Than a pissed-off Latina.

[Monica Padilla]

Dang.

I'm majorly pissed about Charlie leaving. I think he would definitely have worked with me, and, now that he's gone, my coin challenge victory is even more worthless than it already was.

I had hoped that my plan backdoor Tyrone by giving him like 4 coins would pan out, because that dumbass just needs to get the hell out of here. Jaime sent me a copy of the PM he sent her telling her to get rid of me.

Like... I can't even believe his retardation. Not only does he tell her all about the plan to boot Fairplay, and essentially give her a detailed plan as to how to destroy Neishi, but he also tells her about my Greenland Immunity streak. I gotta say. For a guy whose activity level is only slightly above "rotting kumquat" and only slightly below "retard", he sure did a great job of screwing everything up.

This is why idiots shouldn't play this game. Tyrone and Jane are total fools who have no damn idea how social skills work. Tyrone is never on AIM, and only does what Jane tells him. In what damn way does it make sense to target one person (Fairplay) instead of a tribe of FIVE people? Are Tyrone's balls really so small that he thinks Fairplay was stronger than Amanda, Alexis, Christy, Jaime and Charlie put together? Like... it's not even that they targetted ME. It's that they're So. Damn. Stupid.

If you can't tell that 5 votes > 1 vote, I'm sorry, but you need to just get back on the short bus and leave the strategic thinking to the people whose IQs are greater than room temperature. Mmkay, pumpkin?

That being said... I don't know what will happen. I think Fairplay's ass is grass, unless he can get Eliza, Jane, Tyrone, Brad, and Marcus all to vote with him. We don't know if Alexis has an extra vote, we don't know if she has a HII, or what. We know she probably has whatever was in the box, though.

I'd hate to do it. Fairplay's been a valuable ally to me. I know he'd never let me get within a mile of the finals, but I also know that he needs me right now. So we'll see what happens.

What might happen is that we convince Kansai to vote off Tyrone, effectively ridding ourselves of a useless dumbass who only does what Jane tells him to. Then the five of us who are left can just go ahead and vote off the other four, and voila. Final five, and life is good. I doubt it'll happen. We'll see.

[Monica Padilla]

Ecccch with the Brad being voted off.

Ecccccccccch with the fact that it was so stupid.

Eeeecccccccchhhhhhh with the fact that Jane can't realize that all of this is totally her fault. I took no small amount of joy in pointing out to her that if we'd voted off Christy, we wouldn't be having these problems right now.

As it is, old Neishi might just owe me their entire lives right now. After all, I might have flipped Eliza for them. I might have just gotten rid of Jaime for them.

And, for the record, I'd say the fact that I just owned a cast of 10 mostly active players at this challenge shows that I'm even more awesome than I was in Greenland, and should totally get Monica as my All Stars rep. Just sayin'.

Anyhoo... I don't know what will happen. Jane wants to play double-agent with Amanda and them. That's stupid. Because not only will that not work, and pretty awfully not work, but I'm decently certain that the girls alliance would rather have me along than her. I'm way more socially skilled than her, I don't have a pet Tyrone to lug around, and I blatantly said if they took me to the final six I'd throw the challenge and let them vote me off.

That's probably not true. But, we'll see. If they legit did keep me around over the rest of Neishi just because I promised that, I think I'd kind of feel obligated to just die. I enjoy fighting for my survival as much as the next person, but when it comes down to it, I can only fight so long. I eventually just want a break, y'know? And if this game is gonna be me fighting everybody, every round, just to stay in, I don't want to.

I also don't want Fairplay to go. Him and Marcus are legitimately the only people in this game who are nice to me. They congratulate me on stuff, they talk to me about real things, and they don't come across as arrogant douches like the girl's alliance does. Even when they were totally vulnerable, Christy and Jaime just reeked of this pathetic arrogance, and I hated it. I still hate it.

Geeze, Jane. You have no idea. No earthly idea, how close I was to giving Fairplay that Immunity so they'd target you.

Her idea was to target Eliza. This, of course, is exactly what Eliza predicted they'd do, and exactly what I had to promise Eliza I would prevent at all costs. Hence the Immunity present. It's also a bit of a bitchslap to her. If she turns her back, and forces a tie, she will be voted for next round. And I will sink her like a brick. I have two pretty damning convos that will make Amanda and Christy's DAY, if they should ever read them. And if not, I'll take it all the way to purple rocks. In six years of playing Survivor, I've never taken it to a Purple Rock of Doom scenario unless I had Immunity, (although I've forced at least three of them when I had the necklace on), and it'd be pretty neat.

But targetting Eliza is stupid. That's like an army general saying, "Holy crap! Godzilla is invading Tokyo! There's a morally ambiguous poodle by his feet!" and the President saying, "I know! We'll see if Godzilla will kill the poodle instead of Tokyo!" Not only will that probably not work, but even if it does, what the hell stops Godzilla now? And you just wasted ballistic ammo on a poodle. Sure, Godzilla's presumably weakened by taking out his ally, but he's still a serious force to contend with, especially since GI Jane proved a couple rounds ago that tribal allies are gonna get her vote long before Christy and Jaime do. *eyeroll*

[Monica Padilla]

Jaime went home. Yay!

[Monica Padilla]

I like eggs.

Jaime got voted off. Surprise!

I want reward

I want Immunity, too ;D

But someone else might get it

But I want it

Did you hear? Tyrone wants an alliance with Eliza!

But she's tighter with me.

Fairplay's in love with me.

But he can't get any.

I'm cool.

And Eliza and I are both dudes who think the other dude's rep chick is hot.

I think Amanda's pissed.

That's nothin' new.

It'll be cool when she goes.

Unless Tyrone @$@s up everything again.

[Monica Padilla]

I like eggs. They make me happy. When I'm happy, I smile.

Jaime got voted off. Surprise! She didn't see that comin'. *wink*

I want reward. They make me smile even more than I normally smile. I'm gleeful!

I want Immunity, too. Because I'm flirty and awesome like that. I'm on a hot streak, baby! So smiley, I'm showin' off all my teeth as I grin widely in response to my own awesomeness. ;D

But someone else might get it. That would piss me the hell off.

But I want it. It makes me a bit sad or depressed to think of other people wearing my necklace.

Did you hear? Tyrone wants an alliance with Eliza! I'm shocked!

But she's tighter with me. That's cool.

Fairplay's in love with me. I don't get it!

But he can't get any. *eyeroll*

I'm cooler than anybody. If they don't like that, I'll stick my tongue out at them.

Or potentially I just don't wanna be taken seriously.

And Eliza and I are both dudes who think the other dude's rep chick is hot. It's kinda embarrassing.

I think Amanda's pissed. But I don't want to talk about it.

That's nothin' new. I'm kinda meh about her.

It'll be cool when she goes. I will kiss her goodbye.

Unless Tyrone @$@s up everything again. That would make me cry.

[Monica Padilla]

Man alive.

Last night was like my own personal Blitzkrieg, with my IQ playing the part of Czechoslovakia.

Eliza helped me out in the challenge a bit, and by "helped me out" I mean, "gave me info I already knew." So, naturally, when I won the Immunity challenge, she felt that she was the sole cause of my victory.

So, when I gave the reward to Fairplay, she took it as some kind of massive and epic betrayal, and went around selling me out like half-priced hotcakes. (Which made me look back on those days in Greenland where I had to deal with that same crap from Boo literally every damn day a bit more charitably. At least Boo didn't go around spreading my conversations with people and making them not trust me.)

I spent about four hours yelling at her for being an idiot, and showing her that if she'd just had a little bit of trust, she could have seen that I was actually acting in her best interest (because, surprisingly, the other people in this game aren't morons, and they tend to notice when you give all of your rewards to one specific person.) Giving the box to Fairplay meant, theoretically, that when it became the Monica/Alexis/Eliza threesome against the Jane/Christy/Marcus/Tyrone foursome, we had a chance of getting the lonesome Fairplay on our side. Of course, now that he doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me, that goes out the window.

So, now I probably don't have anybody's trust. Even if I do rally from this, my game is probably toast. I either have to submit to Fairplay, or I'm gonna wind up a casualty of Eliza's paranoia or Tyrone's jackass manipulations, so no matter what happens I'm gonna be in the hotseat first time I don't get Immunity.

Not gonna lie... after what I've just been through, I kind of wouldn't mind cooling my heels in the jury. This was hell.

Amanda quitting wasn't surprising, and, in fact, I quite enjoy the fact that I'm guaranteed a spot in the final seven. Despite having been immune every round, I think I've had a hell of a lot of flak thrown my way, and I occasionally just get tired of fighting all the time.

I don't want Jane to go. I don't want Fairplay to go. Tyrone needs to go. Nobody is listening to me. I don't know what the hell Tyrone is slipping in the food here that makes nobody willing to vote his dumb ass off, but I seem to be the only sane one here. You have a guy, who's demonstrated a pattern of clear disloyalty, and who's pretty obviously making side alliances, and who has mentioned your name as a boot candidate, and for some stupid reason, that's not as much of a threat as Jane? What? Seriously?

You know how in mental institutions, all of the crazy people think they're sane, and the guards are the crazy one? That's like me. I feel like I'm the only smart one, and because they're all fools, they think I'm an idiot because I'm not like them. I feel like I'm playing Survivor in a special needs daycare center. I really do.

[Monica Padilla]

Well, fingers crossed, Tyrone should hopefully be going this round if Jane and Jon don't screw it up. I have Alexis and Eliza on board, and thanks to my reward he's not allowed to win Immunity, so hopefully I'll finally be able to get him out.

If not, well, then I guess that's it for me, and I'll finally be able to stop running around like a maniac reminding people that 1 person is less threatening than 4.

Seriously. If I win this game, I will have earned it SO much. If I get voted off, I will probably say "thank you."

[Monica Padilla]

I don't honestly even know what to write right now.

As annoying as it was to lose Fairplay, after having worked my ass off for so long to convince him to vote with us and keep Alexis, what was even more annoying was Jane's little "I told you so" speech afterward. Obviously I just got punched in the face by two people I trusted, and do I really need to hear how you were right all along? No. I do not. Hence the copious use of capitals by me in the long bitch-out session that followed.

Ironically enough, Jane and Alexis and Eliza followed up their betrayal by telling me that they still want to take me to the final four.

Well, great. I just got kneecapped, and then they're gonna make me look like a bitch in front of the jury. That's assuming they don't vote me off, for being a threat. I swear.

What really gets my goat about these people is not that they don't trust me. You know what? I wouldn't trust me either. I'm playing the hell out of this game. No, what annoys me, is that they fail to trust me for really idiotic reasons. They think Fairplay had a HII, because I didn't provide a conversation saying that he didn't have one. Everybody had this massive delusion that I was joined to Fairplay at the hip, which is why they decided to blindside us both.

I don't really give a rat any more. Eliza's an idiot. Jane's a whiner. Alexis doesn't care. Marcus is naive and watching him simultaneously attempt to befriend and backstab me is tragically hilarious. Sadly, that means that Tyrone is literally the only person in this game who doesn't piss me off right now, and that's because the dumbass only ever uses his alternate account, and I can't be bothered to talk to him.

What's really amazing about this game, is how every single person that has actually betrayed me up to this point immediately comes to me and begs me to take them back, and tells me how they don't want me out. I swear. It's like if some guy came up to me and shot me in the leg, and then said "just kidding." and offered to buy me dinner. I don't want dinner from you, you ass! You just shot me! Now I'm gonna kick your ass! ...as soon as I get out of the hospital.

So... I'm gonna be going fullbore for Immunity this time. Obviously I need it, since my wonderful allies are swearing to me, just like they did last time, that they're with me.

Once again. If I get to the end? I might not even bother answering questions. I'm just gonna be like, "Look. I could write you a novel about how much I deserve this win. I put up with more @$@$ than a guy who cleans up septic tank explosions for a living."

[Host Sarah]

lol <3

[Monica Padilla]

This is an excerpt from a PM I got from Jane:

Best case scenario, You and Marcus are both not immune (Nothing against you, but it would be ''obvious'' to them that you will go) and ZING Marcus is blindsided. Im sure you may not feel comfortable without immunity but i beg you to trust me on this one. Its not necessary for you to be immune. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain with trusting Eliza and Alexis. We have nowhere else to go. Trust me on this one and dont fight with your life for immunity. I will understand if you dont wanna risk it and get immunity again. But it'd be good for us if you are not immune. It would make the blindside even bigger AND it would also prove that you dont always need immunity to survive which could be useful in front of the Jury.

This is my reaction the PM I got from Jane:

*silence*

*re-reads*

*more silence*

*reads a third time*

WHAT THE #@^$??

----

Y'know...

I've been playing for a very long time. Probably since before most of the people on Proboards hit puberty. I remember playing back when Pearl Islands was new and exciting.

And in all of that time, I have never once been blatantly asked to commit suicide. I've had people ask me for my HII before, and I've had them ask me to throw final three ICs, but I have never actually seen anything quite like this.

I don't think Jane has any idea what she's asking me, here. Eliza and Alexis, who she spent all of last round telling me I couldn't trust, would now like to help us. Okay. That I might buy. Admittedly, they lied their asses off to me last round, so I'm not exactly in a gullible mood, thankyouverymuch.

See, here's my problem. At this stage in the game, I have difficulty believing that anybody would truly like to work with me. It's pretty obvious that I would kill any of these people against a jury. The only person I can legitimately see wanting to get to the end with me is Eliza, and that's because her user has such a crush on my avatar that I think he needs to buy it dinner.

But, back to the PM. What Jane is essentially saying is, "I trust two people who lied to your face. We're going to make it look like you're getting voted off, and then the people who betrayed you just now will save you, I swear. So, could you be a dear and not try to save yourself?"

Like... really? Really? This is your plan?

Sorry, girls. For some reason, I don't want to be used as bait. You can either betray somebody, or you can ask them to help you out with idiotic schemes. You don't get to do both.

I don't really mind that I'm being asked to commit suicide. Really. That takes some serious balls. But at the same time, couldn't they have tried to do it in way that wasn't retarded?

I might actually sell their asses out to Marcus and Tyrone, if I lose. It wouldn't be good strategy or anything, but it would definitely be good for a bitter mocking laugh.